dibididibidi SIBLING PIRACY
Random takes on our recent pirate loot.

The band members of I Cant Go On, I’ll Go On—living hard core.

Not.

Yo Chris,

When I saw the DVD of Bandslam — its cover being a blinding eyesore of sparkles, hot pink, and Baby V’s tousled curls—  hidden underneath the pile of your usual pirate loot, the first thought that occurred to me was this:  ‘what kind of crack has my brother been smoking’? Considering my freakishly high tolerance for tween drivel, though, I was more than glad to witness your state of unraveling. What was next? A HSM marathon? Not a bad prospect. Not a bad prospect indeed, I thought. 

In Bandslam, our hero is Will (played by Gaelan Connell, who seems like he was cast in the hopes of finding The Next Michael Cera. Note to casting directors: close, but no cigar. What you have found, my friends, is The Next Ben Savage.). Will is a loser by high school standards except for a rare gift of his: an encyclopedic knowledge of music.  This gift is the reason why our curly-haired muppet suddenly finds himself managing a high school band headed by the effervescent Charlotte (a reformed biyatch who trades in cheerleading for warbling to Letters to Cleo songs in a garage). There’s a blossoming romance, here, with his morose Human Studies seatmate, Sa5m (a slouching, sulking Vanessa Hudgens), who speaks in a strange, robotic monotone and shares his love for ska.

The 5 in Sa5m’s name is silent, by the way. I hereby grant permission for the eyerolls to commence. Now.

Okay, I’m being unnecessarily snarky here. The truth is that Bandslam surprised me.  I was steeling myself for something as horrid as that Demi Lovato-Joe Jonas travesty, Camp Rock (good god yes i watched it stop judging me), but it actually had moments of cleverness and surprising authenticity. The writing is sharp; not overly angsty, but neither was it too bubblegum.  Most of the time the dialogue sounded like it was straight out of a well-crafted YA novel I would probably love when I was 14. The OST certainly isn’t anything to scoff at, either: by the end of the movie, you will have listened to Bowie, Nico & the Velvet Underground, Peter Bjorn, Wilco and Nick Drake, just to name a few.  Okay, and Vanessa Hudgens, too— but I have to admit, their ska-laced version of Bread’s I Would Give everything I Have” was kind of adorable.

The bottom line is that I liked Bandslam when it wasn’t trying too hard to prove its indie cred/ distinguish itself from usual tween fare. Because of this,  it often teetered on the brink of pretentiousness. Case in point: the renaming of the band’s name from the generic Glory Dogs to… (prepare yourself!) I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On.

……

(ellipses= a moment of silence to cringe.)

Not only does this happen to be one of the most verbose, unmusical band monickers OAT, but it also happens to be  a line taken from Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. I can imagine my dear friend Leo saying, “Teeeee-Aytch much?”.  A sudden thought, in its defense: then again, didn’t we all try a little too hard in high school?

Bandslam was nothing groundbreaking, but it was fun. Earlier, you talked about films that recaptured childhood, and this film actually did that for me. It made me miss certain things about being 14. Like being unapologetically jhologz. Or fiercely defensive about your musical taste. Or reveling in the magic of watching your peers transform from dorks to annointed gods of cool the moment they go onstage and start playing, no matter how untuned their guitars are.

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Hey Mag,

Wait, what? You’ve seen “Camp Rock”? That’s quite … unfortunate.

Anyway. Yes, I actually did feel a slight twinge of embarrassment as I asked the DVD shop owner to hand me the movie with Vanessa Hudgens on the cover, but then I realized that the only one judging me would be you, so I tried to discreetly sneak it into the bag. Obviously I failed miserably at that, though.

I had read somewhere that it was more “Adventureland” than “High School Musical,” and you know that I am such a sucker for the age-old “outsider-comes-of-age” tale. I still had my reservations, however. Vanessa Hudgens’ obviously rehearsed Punk Rock face/stance on the cover made my skin crawl. But guess what? 10 minutes into the movie and I actually stopped playing Plants vs. Zombies on the laptop and started paying attention to the dialogue (Yes, Katie, I know this reinforces your theory that I have ADHD, but what can you do?).

You covered it quite well; the dialogue was surprisingly decent, and at times, laugh out loud funny. The music was good; and you did actually find yourself rooting for the rag tag bunch of misfits who comprise (gag) I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On, as they pop-rocked their way to attempt to win the coveted award that the film’s title refers to.

I’ll say this though: for a film advocating the Rock and Roll lifestyle, it was still unfortunately steeped in serious pop-rock territory.  It was fun, and I do recognize what they were going for. The intent was there, but sadly, the delivery pretty much flatlined at times. I liken it to a pop video: It’s enjoyable, fun and light but will in no way stand up to repeat viewings.

Chris

p.s. The whole David Bowie framing device was quite annoying, TBH.